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the conclustion

deep darkness rolls around infected the body insane decaying the vain,
destroying the body and the brain, consumed by anger and fear.inquiry
searches and endless bounds and bundles, deceitful of appearance to
the pretty words to be guile into its treachery.


My dreams blow like mystical dryer leaf's crumbling and decaying in the wind.
Tears drop from each eye shattering earths crust, my drenched soul soaked with sorrow and guilt there for I'm not a man.
Men support there loved ones, I can not loss of hope for a better life flows away faster and faster like the economy.
Lie, cheat, steal just to put food on the table seems to be a option.
But why,
But that's the only way.

so bored so lonly

yup I am so bored and so ever so lonly sucks just think about it you go home from working 12 hours and your extreamly sleepy from the prior day and what do you have to come home to nothing but a messy house filled with cat hair from your sisters cats floor covered in dabree from the ducking cats trailing there kitty litter all over the place the smell of dirty kittly litter through the house the going on 3 week old garbage sitting in your kitchen, I dare you take an attempt to look trough my fridge for something to eat all yull find is 1 case of MGD 1 case Carona 6 budwiser few mikes hard and cupple hiny. Oh don't 4 get to look in the top compartment yull find my bolonie and cupple slices of bread yummmmm.

If I am lucky I can spend 10-20 minS messing around on the computer but ass naked just trying to relax and unwind.
it's always a race to go to sleep because you never know if your working a12 or a 16 hour day never have enuf energy to clean the house I need a fucking made or just move out of this appartment what's the point In haveing it I don't have woman over to buisy for that I don't have friends over house to messy for that can't clean my house I work 12-16 hours a day 6 days a week and on that one off day I'm completly drunk so I drink my ass off and pass out wake up in time to go to work the next day life do I have one naw I'm only 21 years old and am stuck married to a jobyhat treats me and everyone like shit

Wwjd my friend WWJD - what would Jesus do - I bet he would say fuck it I quit


stupid karma

I feel I have such crapy luck it's just amazing how bad it is I know others could be worse and for a while that is the only thing that made me feel better just thinking it could be worse.
Let's see where I can start. Well karma works in a sens if you were bad in the past it will come back and haunt you, well it has guess what it's back!
I know what my wrong doings were and I have bettered my self and treated everyone els slot better just to try and improve my life. I use to have such a anger problem I was being kicked out of a military school if someone said something to me and I didn't like it I would hit them but look at me now I try my best to never fight if I get mad I try and write a poem it makes me feel better.
But now I tryedcto get into the military I couldn't pasS the test 4 attempts and scored lower each time I took it.
Worked job after job just to hope to better my self now I'm a security officer at rush hospital, sounds great don't it I am constantly harrased by the supervisor I am treated like crap from all the employees I have had 2 panic attacks while working I work 12 hours a day 6 days a week if I refuse to work 12 and only work 8 I'll be suspended the first time 2nd time around I'll be fired
Well I know I'm not the only one who has this problem ( I cannot not work ) I have bills and I have to purvide for my self no one will take care of me except me.
I feel stuck traped and very lonly I have no one to talk to I have finally had my emotional break down I fliped out and took it out on my wall in my computer room I broke my pinky and ring fingure on right hand and pinky on left hand. I have evil vistions and thoughts of killing my self I know I'm to scared to actualy do that but that's the only way I can express my emotional feelings of how stressed and depressed I am from my supervisor.
Oh for got I applyed for a entry level analist position they said I had good computer knowladge but I lack experiance with helping customers over the phone and because of that I am not getting hired for the job. ( this job is not just any job ) I have spent 12 years of my life infrint of a computer fixing them or at least trying to and trying to learn how to fix them and still am to this day this is like a dream job you can try and put it that way but I got turned down for my perfict job or at least starter job in the feild I want to be in.

I don't know I really don't know



I am your shield
I am your protector
I keep you safe
I keep you wanted
I am your knight in shining armor.
I am your love
I am your trust
I keep you close
I keep you free
I am your knight in shining armor.
I am the one
I am the only
I keep you smiling
I keep you Laughing
I am your knight in shining armor.
I hug you
I kiss you
I miss you
I am with you
I am your knight in shining armor.
I am a figment,
Keep wanting me,
I will appear,
Because i am your knight in shining armor.

by: P. Ploski


poem poem poem

I liked you
I liked you once
pure confessions explained it all
why no reply no answer not even a note.
I liked you once
we were Young i was shy
i tryed to approach you but the butter fly
in my stomic stunted me when your in my sight.
i liked you once
your smile,grace, aura lifted me with one glair into
your eyes but not anymore
I liked you once
we are adults now not children why do you respond
with immaturity?
I liked you once
no is a no yes is a yes silence is silent
but silent is not an answer.
I liked you once
hope is all i had crushed by the silent of your voice
hope for a yes
hope for a reply
hope for allot
then hoped no more
I liked you once
Young beautiful beauty
i just wanted to be your beast
this fairy tail is so old but still has a grasp on me to
seat me at the edge of this chair.
I liked you once
but never again,
your cruel and chilled at the heart floating in immaturity
you will learn
but by then ill be gone
never again
will I like you
JUST only that once!


One more drink

one more drink
just one more drink
cold smooth refreshing with a happy ending!
pictures bottles tall boys pints
all good for me and you
make your choice
shots like liquid candy
3 drinks 2 shots spinning room, ahh not yet,
4 drinks 3 shots start cracking that smile.
buzz tipsy or even little drunk
cut me off why when you can just give me another drink
just one, two, three.
no bliss with this drinking just an escape
escape from that crappy job
escape from that crappy place called home
escape from that crappy feeling of loneliness
fuck it
just one more drink
poor it slow drink it fast
one drink for every letter written and for every word spoken
that's enuf to pass some time.
just one more drink
just one
one more.

by: Philip .P~ Zulu

who am I?

  who is zulus! 

who is philip!

I am just another figment of your immagination that only excits on this screen you sit and read!

but who am i on the other end of this!

sit and think who is the person typeing this so vigrously! 

just tell us you must be thinking!


i am just like you another person trying to survive this world, work endless shifts endless hours day by day growing older and colder alone 
STRIVEING for the next time i can escape and run free!!
i write to keep a blanace of my humanity!
i seem to be on track but i feel more confused and take conservative steps into every situation!

am i a loner you must wonder! 
i feel that way! i am always alone! i have been alone all my life not untill the age of 18 did my parents realize the mistakes thay have made and tryed to make up for it!!
but its too late no need for help! i help my self i tought my self to live life......

i cant sit and regret my past for the mounts of drugs i have done! i can only say is that it was just another experiance not worth the wild!

why do i write?
to express my self in the way i cannot speak! I tell you whats in my heart! these are my feeling this is who i really am trying to break free! IN this world we are ment to keep confind and keep ower mouths shut and express ower selfs in the way others think we should! 


i am deadly  scared of commitment! 

woman have chewed me up spit me out steped on me countless times! i have been in more relationships at the age of 21 then most of all my frineds put togeather! aint that some shit~

i cant find a girl or woman who feets my likes! i love a girl who can express her self and not put a plastic smile on her face! 
or she can speak about her problems and sit there and say THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG! 

thos girls you use to call freaks back in high school you know the ones who wore the fucked up styles all black black eye liner nilon's on there arms and skirts mixed diffrent styles skulls every were!!

look i found them to be the most real people i have ever meet! i love them girls! they are there they are real! you sit and make fun of them fuck off you sit and twitle your thumbs in deception of only meer misery thinking your life is better then theres! these people are better then you! they can express them selfs you sit with plastic smiles and hide behind your EXPENSIVE NAME BRAND SHIT! 

what ever im ramblin on dont have time to spell check so ima go peacE!



i sit and i wait...










life seems to dwell away by every second


by every TICK


and at the end of every TOCK


light dimms through your window as it slowly die's


darkness creeps from one corrner of your room to the next


till you cant even see your hand in front of your face


endless tunnel


endless tunnel
tears have fallen,
one drop after another,
for ow-er pasts,
this life was given,
this soul has fallen,
no straight to regain,
no passion to invest,
this hole was dug,
and there's no more escaping,
continuing to dig,
further and further down,
deep into this endless tunnel,
you will find who,
you will find nothing,
but a mirror,
and in the reflection of the
mirror, you will see your self.


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January 2010


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